It takes a lot of courage to get things off your chest- both physically and emotionally. That’s why Angelina Jolie’s announcement this past week that she underwent a prophylactic mastectomy after testing positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation resonated among so many people.
Here is one of the most beautiful women in the world for whom privacy is a rarity. She opened up publicly about a very difficult and personal decision she made for herself and for her family. I admire Angelina for putting her health first in an industry where impeccable looks and achieving the perfect body are a requirement for getting ahead. I love the fact that she faced a health decision head on, weighed her options and made a decision based on what was inside her chest, in her heart, and not on the outside. Angelina knew what it was like to lose a mother to cancer, and she did not want her children to experience the same heartbreaking loss.
So much emphasis is placed on physical perfection and sometimes at the expense of one’s health. We’ve heard of reports where women die on the operating table undergoing some pretty drastic cosmetic surgery to achieve body perfection. In Angelina’s story a beautiful women undergoes drastic surgery to achieve body health. There are women who will pay a small fortune for cosmetic injections and body tweaks like clockwork during the year but cannot be bothered to schedule an annual physical or a mammogram to monitor their health.
As I researched my book many of the women whom I interviewed who underwent mastectomies for breast cancer said losing their breasts was a better option than the prospect of losing their lives. In most cases breasts can be reconstructed. Lives cannot be brought back. After testing positive for the BRCA2 genetic mutuation after my own cancer diagnosis, I decided to undergo a prophylactic oophorectomy to remove my ovaries and Fallopian tubes. The risk for my getting ovarian cancer was just too high, and my ovaries were no longer useful to me anyway. There, I got that piece of information off my chest. Thank you Angelina!
Losing your breasts, your ovaries or your uterus does not mean you are any less of a woman. The value of a woman should be based on her mind, her heart and her character and not on her body parts (professional opera singers ballet dancers, violinists and athletes, I acknowledge the value of your body as a work of art.)
For me, Angelina’s open message to the public in the New York Times goes beyond the fact that she underwent genetic testing and made the choice to undergo her surgery. She really “got things off her chest” with a straightford assessment of what led to her decision. In a soothing manner akin to telling a bedtime story, she explained the process she underwent and let us know we can make choices about how we take control of our health and why it is important to do so.
For many it is hard to get things off their chest. We are too hung up on how we will be perceived. Or we fear life will change for the worse. It took me almost two years to say the words “I had cancer” publicly out of concern for my professional health and out of fear I would lose business.
But it’s not just about getting cancer off your chest. It’s about being true to yourself and having the courage to speak out and to feel no shame. There used to be a time (and still sadly in some cultures) where a woman who was divorced or (gasp!) no longer a virgin was a scandal to the family. She may be brutally punished or banished. And there are times some of us may refrain from speaking our mind out of concern that what we say may be misunderstood or no one will listen. One of my dearest friends did not speak out in time. She held a health problem too close to her chest out of fear, and it was only when it developed into stage four breast cancer that she shared her situation. By then the disease had progressed and sadly she is no longer with us.
Before I regained the courage to speak out after my cancer treatment, I wrote for therapy. I tell people it took losing my breasts to find my true voice, to be able speak out with confidence and not worry about what people thought of me.
Angelina, the role of advocate to tell women to take charge of their bodies and be confident in their skin no matter what, is the best leading role you may play on the stage of life aside from mother and humanitarian. It’s good to be beautiful inside and out. It’s great to be alive!
*Lyrics to “Angie” written by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, The Rolling Stones (copyright: Promobill/Promopub c/o Essex Music I)
