I have a favorite quote: “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain.”
In our lifetimes, all of us will have to face stormy days, stormy experiences, stormy relationships. This past weekend Hurricane Irene bore down on the East Coast, a category 3 storm at first, downgraded to category 1 when it hit New York and eventually becoming a tropical storm. Preparedness was key to avoiding disaster. Coastal towns and low lying areas including lower Manhattan were evacuated. Mass transit was stopped. Medical and police personnel were on alert. The storm tore through the East Coast in the course of three days and then moved out to see. In its aftermath were massive floods in some parts and in others brilliant sunshine and clear skies. Some say we were over prepared in Manhattan. I think the folks in Vermont wish they had been more prepared.
It’s interesting how a storm in your life can either leave you damaged or with enlightened clarity. It’s how you prepare for it (if you have the chance) and how you face it. In a blackout some see the inconvenience of candles, and others see romance.
I think about the storms I have faced and how I dealt with them in the last decade: the uncertain: watching a dear friend succumb to breast cancer, hoping each new treatment would turn things around; the expected: my father ‘s kidney failure and eventual death from metastasized prostate cancer; the unexpected: my own cancer diagnosis after a flawless mammogram. There were other storms: the shock and horror of the September 11th attacks, the devastation and helplessness of Hurricane Katrina, a colossal recession and watching peoples’ financies and lives fall apart, my own financial challenges in the aftermath. Even my wedding was impacted by a storm, a freak March Nor’easter that cancelled my friends’ flights to new Orleans.
We weather them all and have more clarity for it. You adjust. Life moves forward, and eventually the dark clouds do move away. Just make sure your dark mood moves with them.
Storms teach you to find balance, to hold steady, to steer the course. Otherwise you sink. They teach you to prepare for the worst, aim and hope for the best and navigate what comes in between with with grit, grace and a grin.
My own series of storms taught me the importance of saving for the rainy day, but also spending to enjoy an experience or occasion that may not happen again. They taught me to eat for a healthy life but also savor small indulgences when the opportunity arises. They taught me the importance of preparing and planning for my future the best I can but focusing on living the moment even more. They taught me the importance of creating a support network of friends and family and offering my support to them when they face their own storms.
As with a hurricane watch, you can see come storms coming, and you can prepare. I watched a loved one slowly drift away over the course of a year and was able to plan and spend more time with him. But others, similar to a tsunami, catch you by surprise and blindside you, like a cancer diagnosis out of nowhere or a sudden loss.
When you are in the middle of a storm you can either give up and retreat, or swim and kick hard to propel forward. Your can drown in your misery or dance among the dark clouds looking between for bright spots.
I’d rather dance and stomp away the clouds. Eventually the skies clear and the sun comes back. I’ve got convertible top down and my sunglasses ready.
