I have the greatest respect for traditions, especially around the holidays. Maintaining longstanding traditions that are meaningful and joyful are always good for the spirit. They are like the glue that seals the passages of time and bonds you to others and to a sense of place. Many people have special traditions over the holidays, whether it’s familiar dishes or gathering places, decorations or songs, or people to spend time with either at home or away.
But sometimes you need to take a break. This can be a delicate matter when it involves family and longtime friends who may not understand why you want to make a change.
But I will give you some reasons:
- When a tradition becomes an obligation it’s time to rethink its purpose. You should want to participate in and follow a tradition and not feel bound by it or inconvenienced.
- When a tradition becomes a fallback or an excuse not to try anything new, then it’s time to consider a change or at least a tweak.
- When the tradition becomes a financial burden or a time constraint that causes more anxiety than joy, give it a break!
- When you find yourself feeling compromised because you must follow a tradition that is no longer is meaningful or makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe you need to ask yourself “Why am I doing this?”
- When a tradition no longer fits your lifestyle, it may be time to create a new tradition better suited to the life you now have.
Breaking with tradition does not have to be permanent. In most cases you can always return to it. And sometimes you may wish you never made the break. The good thing about breaking with a tradition is you allow yourself to try something new that could lead to establishing another tradition by choice. Or, it could lead you back to the old familiar tradition, but with a renewed spirit of appreciation.
If you decide to breaking a longstanding family tradition make sure to use diplomacy. It’s not about a “wrong” or “right” way to do something different, and you need to make that clear. It’s about gently suggesting you may want to try something new, and you can always invite others to join in.
A tradition should be something positive and nurturing. You should embrace it with anticipation, and it should embrace you like a giant welcome hug. But when traditions become rules you are expected to follow and not question, then maybe it’s time to break the rules.
