What makes you happy? And is it within reach?

Who is the happier person:  The ambitious person who reaches higher and higher but remains restless, so happiness is never quite in full grasp. Or the placid person who reaches out and not up, and embraces what is around him and seeks nothing more?

Which one are you? Or are you a combination?

My Dad always told me to aim high and then higher. I was programmed to be a success from an early age, to move out of my small town and show everyone who I could be. And I did it in a short amount of time. At 22 I was working in a public relations firm in Atlanta, on glamorous travel and leisure accounts and winning an accolade for a radio account. At 25 I moved to New York to work for a large PR firm, winning another industry accolade for a yogurt account. At 30 I launched  my own public relations business and helped create some amazing food industry programs like The James Beard Awards and New York Restaurant Week, among others. By 40 I was the focus of a Gotham TV segment called “Who’s Making It In New York.”

I never rested, not even on my laurels. I was always restless. Aiming higher to do more. Expand. Comparing myself to others. If I could reach up and take the clouds from the sky and prop myself up on them like big fluffy Princess and the Pea throne  bed, I would have.

But then the sky fell. I aimed too high. The economy tanked. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My Dad’s cancer metastasized over the course of two years and he died. The business environment changed. It was beyond stressful.  It could have been a darker time, but I resolved to stay positive and focused. The experience made me refocus and re-assess my concept of happiness.

“If the sky falls, have clouds for breakfast.” This is from a child’s book called “The Night Rainbow.” Read it! I quote that line alot.

I am using my experience to re-evaluate the meaning of happiness and to reach out for things that really matter rather than reach up for things that may not be realistically attainable. Here is what I have learned and I am continuing to learn:

Happiness is about being content with your surroundings and with the people you surround yourself with.

Happiness is what you do with your life not what you do for a living.

Happiness is not about how much money you make but how you make the money work to make your life better and to help make the lives of others better.

Happiness is being content in your own skin and not trying to be someone you are not.

Happiness is believing in yourself and not worrying about what others thing about you.

Happiness is keeping your mind open and your outlook positive and keeping negative thoughts and negative energy shut out.

Happiness is looking around you and enjoying what you have and not focusing on what you do not have.

Happiness is acquiring all you need to enjoy life and share it with those in your life but not overextending yourself so that you are weighed down with debt and with objects you do not really want.

Happiness is a smile not a grimace. It is an embrace not a clutch. It is the sound of laughter not complaining. It is calm not stress.

Happiness is not just  about where you are physically but about where you are in your head mentally.  It is not just about who you are with but who you believe you are. It is both your “why” and your “why not” road map to living.

Happiness was always within my reach. I just may have been grasping at the wrong things.

I am putting a little Tabasco on my breakfast of clouds to spice them up and looking forward to a bright day.

3 Comments
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