Are you or a friend suffering from cantorexia? It’s how I define people whose mind set tells them they can’t do something when they really can if they refocused and tried.
All of us at some point may have experienced some form of cantorexia. When we were younger our parents or teachers may have told us, “You can’t do that.” In sports you may have been told, “You can’t be on the team” because you were too slow or small. I was told by high school teachers I was too bossy. “You can’t act that way.” I was told by a supervisor at my job in Atlanta my clothes were too stylish.”You can’t dress that way for work.” Fortunately, I didn’t listen to either.
People who have cantorexia may have the desire and ability to pursue something but they are convinced they can’t. Dreams stay dreams. Trips stay on travel bucket lists. Businesses never launch. Books remain unpublished. Change never happens. The story of your life misses a few amazing chapters. Regret and wistful thinking may settle in.
But, cantorexia is treatable. Here’s some can-structive advice:
Believe in your self. You can make something happen if you believe you can and if you put your mind to it. Your biggest can of worms may be negative thinking, laziness, too many distractions, lack of focus and inability to prioritize. These feed on cantorexia. They can all be managed.
You have the ability. You may think a physical disability may not allow you to do something, but you can. Despite being unable to see or hear nearly all of her life, Helen Keller became one of the most eloquent communicators and writers in history.
You’re smart enough. You may think you lack the knowledge or skill set to do something but smart people know where to look to learn and ask questions. These days education is practically free thanks to the Universities of Google and YouTube where you can find instructions on almost anything. You just need to spend the time doing the work.
You can afford it. What you can’t afford is not to take action. Lack of funds may be a barrier for buying equipment or building a website. But you can do it for less. I started my PR agency with $1500 and secondhand equipment. My first contract more than covered the cost. You can barter for services and borrow supplies, and you can raise funds through crowd sourcing sites.
You have the time. Saying you don’t have the time is a waste of time. If you can find time to post numerous photos of what you are eating and drinking on social media and read through your timeline to comment on what your other friends are doing, you can find the time to write a few pages of a book or read chapters of a book to learn something new.
The cure for cantorexia starts with changing your mind from “I can’t” to “I can.” Then it’s about setting a goal and taking small steps every day to reach it and not biting off more than you can chew. Have patience stay focused and don’t give up. If you don’t try, you’ll never know.
Let me know how you’re doing. Facebook.com.FearlessFabulousMelanie
Sharing this interview with me on “Pursuing Your Joy” conducted by the Fabulous Patrice Tanaka, who was one of my mentors and who is now helping others find their joy at Joyful Planet. Patrice was on of my first radio show guests..
http://www.commpro.biz/patrice-tanaka/creating-a-joyful-planet-how-melanie-young-is-helping/
I spoke at FestiGals last year in New Orleans. This year’s event is July 28-30
