“Women are the greatest untapped natural resource in the world.”– Mama Gena
It takes a lot of convincing and the chance to experience something out of the ordinary to keep me in the city on a Summer weekend. With my husband overseas swilling Cretan wine on an all male press junket, I used the time alone to reconnect with some of my girlfriends and with my womanly self. It was pure midsummer pleasure: sunset cocktails at at the Metropolitan Museum’s rooftop terrace on Friday and rosé at the beach in Bridgehampton on Saturday.
So how did I end up in a windowless ballroom in a tourist hotel near Pennsylvania Station with several hundred dancing and cheering women on a beautiful, sunny Sunday afternoon? What womanly pleasure would I find in that scenario?
“This will change your life,” said the friend who convinced me to attend Mama Gena’s School of the Womanly Arts Master Class graduation at the New Yorker Hotel. I checked out Mama Gena’s website – www.mamagenas.com – which promises you will discover your inner goddess, unlock your internal pleasure chest, learn the art of flirtation, own your beauty, party with your inner bitch, conjure abundance, get what you want out of life and have fun no matter what. Also in the list is “owning and operating men” which makes men sound like cars with you in the driver’s street manning the stick shift. Hey, why not?
I dressed the part in my red goddess dress. I had just come from a private boudoir photo shoot where I channeled my Hollywood femme fatale fantasy wearing a pale sexy silk Vera Wang negligee that matched the color of my light blonde hair. So my face was made up somewhere between Jean Harlow and Happy Hooker.
Inside the ballroom were several hundred women. I haven’t experienced this much estrogen since my last period in 2009. It was a meow mix of femininity- all ages, shapes and sizes. There was lots of clapping, dancing, embracing and shed tears as graduates shared letters and stories of losing one’s inhibitions and self-doubt and finding one’s pleasure and passion.
It was pure pixie dust. 
You couldn’t help becoming enraptured when a middle aged graduate shared her story saying she had been given six months to live when she enrolled in the Mastery Class. Today, she’s lived well past her expiration date. Another talked of finding the man of her dreams. A woman in her 90s talked of losing her husband and “closing up shop” only to rediscover her womanliness as a newly minted grad.
There was more crotch touching than at a Michael Jackson concert and plenty of “Power to the Pussy” cheers. These womanly women can purr the words “pussy” and “fuck” as comfortably as “would you like more cake?” or “I love your dress.” I guess it’s OK for goddesses to talk dirty if it leads to pure clean fun.
Regena Thomashuer (Mama Gena) is a best selling author and pleasure motivator who, according to her website, is “self-taught in the social, cultural and economic history of women including the ancient Goddess religion.” Somewhere in her earlier days I think she must have been born Jewish because she brought her Mama -referred to as “the bubby” – to the stage. No bitch I know calls her mama “bubby” unless she has a Jewish gene pool.
Whatever her background and credentials, Mama Gena appears to be teaching more than sex education to her disciples in the nine month Mastery of the Womanly Arts course. It sounds like a mix of tough love, self love, shared love and sisterhood. I’ve never see a group of more spiritually unfettered and radiant women. It was like the rapture adorned with boas, tiaras, sequins and bling.
Spreading all that pleasure also looks like a great business model. Mastering pleasure with Mama Gena comes with a $6500 tuition, and there are 250 spaces filled each course. You do the math on that one. Plus, Mama Gena has best selling books, a weekend boot camp, DVDs and a free “Daily Fluff”blog. There is also a shorter, less expensive Boot Camp.
When my book becomes a best seller or if I win the lottery, I would enroll in the course. Watching all the enlightened in the room made me want to say, “I’ll have what she’s having.” This Divine Sisterhood gets you by the Ya Ya’s.
I left the event inspired to focus less on being a productive woman and more on being a pleasured woman. I do believe that a pleasured women will become more productive. I walked back to my apartment mentally mapping out a pleasure plan: I’d stop complaining about little things and only focus on what is pleasurable. I’d pleasure myself and pleasure my husband more. I’d stop working so hard, and so on…..I’d start with a few small pleasures at first; nothing big ticket on my budget. Simple pleasures.
My first step was to pleasure myself with a biscuit and some tasty sides at Hill Country Chicken. Delicious! Then I pleasured myself with a flowery sunset walk along The Highline. Beautiful! I must have already started emanating pleasure pheromones because three lesbians sitting on a bench gave me an appreciative look over. I sauntered like the sylph I shall become back to my apartment: shoulders back, chest out, head high, goddess like.
“This is pretty easy,” I said to myself. “I just readjusted my attitude, feel great, and I haven’t spent a dime on tuition.” I passed a young woman having dinner outside with her male companion a restaurant. On her head was her Mama Gena graduation tiara. I gave her a knowing glance; she’s a sister goddess.
While technically I’m not a Mama Gena “sister goddess” I’ve always known I have the goddess in me. I just need to make it a priority to let it out more and dedicate myself to enjoying daily pleasures and to sharing pleasuring with others. Maybe one day I’ll wear the Mama Gena graduation tiara, but for now my invisible tiara which I wear every day fits me just fine.
