I recently applied for a grant from a prestigious professional women’s organization dedicated to empowering women. My mission is to empower women and I am studying to train as a certified coach. The grant would have provided beneficial support to help me in my goal to help make a difference for others.
I was rejected. But not dejected. Annoyed, yes. Giving up, no.
Everyone experiences rejection. My first sort of rejection was the day I was born, the second baby of the new year. The first baby born received all the prizes. I received no prizes, and my parents lost out on a year end tax deduction. My C.P.A. father liked to say, “She was poorly engineered and badly accounted for.”
I’ve dealt with plenty of rejection. But don’t start plucking the violin strings for me. I’ve had plenty of success as well. Here are my top three rejection stories, all with better endings (for me):
1. Dumped by a boyfriend after six months who said, “The excitement is gone.” Years later he was run over by a bus. And I married my prince.
2. Turned down by the New York parent company to the PR firm where I worked in Atlanta who said, “She’s too much of a flake to make it here in New York.” I moved anyway and ran my own successful PR agency in New York for over 20 years.
3. Kicked off the cheerleading squad for not being pretty enough despite being the best team member at splits and dance movements. Ugly ducklings blossom, and I still can dance those moves.
Many of us experience rejection at work: sales fall through; clients choose other companies; customers change loyalties; actors are turned down for roles, bad reviews happen. And then there is personal rejection: the heartbreak of a breakup, not being selected for a team, turned down for a scholarship or a job.
If you experience rejection, don’t be bitter. Be better. Every time a door has slammed in my face I just go knocking on other doors. There are no dead ends, just dead ears. I consider many of my rejections misguided decisions by the other parties who failed to realize all the potential I have to offer.
It also means you may need to take time to refine your presentation or message to convey it better next time. The only failure is giving up, Rejection should not lead to dejection; it’s just a bad bump in the road and bruise to the ego. Bruises heal over time. Thin skin can toughen up.
Fortunately, rejection is occasional. But maintaining confidence should be constant. The next time you experience rejection, don’t dwell on “would have, should have, could have.” Take your lumps and learn from them. Then smooth your ruffled feathers, polish your pluck and strut yourself all over again.
Rejects, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do and saw it through without contention
…..I faced it all and I stood tall. And did it my way.
(“My Way” My version)
Mel I loved this post and it started me thinking about the topic of rejection…not my favorite subject to think about…but here’s one for you! A guy I met once asked me out on a date but when the day came, he sent a friend in his place. I opened the door to see a smiley stranger, who mumbled something about “Dave couldn’t make it but he told me to come instead.” Classy, right??!! I wish I could tell you I went out with the stranger and we fell madly in love but neither of those things happened…
Hi Julie,
That story sounds familiar but with a better ending: Many years ago my Mother agreed to replace her roomate on a blind date with a Lieutenant who had returned from serving in Korea and was stationed at Ft. Benning, Georgia. The roomate had just met someone and was not interested in a date with a poor soldier but she did not want to let him down. My mother agreed to go on the date pretending to be her roomate.
The rest is history….she met my father!
XO
Melanie