“Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many”-Unknown
This week the actress Laura Linney was on one of the morning shows talking about her final season of “The Big C” where her character is facing the end of her life. I have never met the actress Linney but she radiated straightforward charm and beauty. She said portraying a character with cancer facing her own mortality made her understand “the privilege of aging.”
The words lingered in my head. We live in a strange world where a high value is placed on antiques and aged wines and where in Manhattan pre-war apartments carry a higher real estate price tag. We bid high and hard for artwork by old masters, classic cars and vintage jewelery.
Yet we can’t bear the thought of growing old ourselves. And we are not always comfortable being around the elderly (as if aging is contagious!). You see employers retire their older staff whether they are ready to go or not. Families assign their elderly relatives to a safe home elsewhere. An entire industry caters to making us look and feel young so we can go out looking our youthful best to attend a high profile antiques show to consider buying old objects to decorate our homes. And we spend a small fortune looking younger. Remember when we spent our allowances trying to look older when we were teenagers?
But when a tragedy like the Boston Marathon bombing cuts short young lives or a young woman is told she has Stage 4 cancer, having length of years to grow old and experience a life well lived is the unattainable gift you long for most.
We fight growing old because we live in a society where wrinkles and age spots are considered blemishes not beauty, where an elderly mind is referred to as feeble versus enlightened and where employers who lead decades old companies producing brands beloved by generations hire fresh young faces to give their own corporate image a youthful facelift. The U.S. Congress debates Medicare and the “challenge of our aging society” as if growing old is a burden to be lifted instead of an honorable milestone.
Other cultures put a high value on aging. “Respect for Elders” is a national holiday in Japan where seniors are respected for achieving age and wisdom and where asking one’s age is a sign of etiquette. I would give anything to have the chance to have my father and grandparents back in my life to hear their voices and their time honored knowledge and stories.
True and understood that as we age, our minds may blur, our bones may weaken and our bodies may betray us. But that is a far less punishment than being robbed of your right to grow old.
Yes, aging is a privilege that after facing my own life affirming health scare I embrace with more purpose and pleasure. I am sure the young victims of the Marathon and so many others whose lives were cut short who never had the privilege of aging would agree.
